Resilience - A Way of Life
I wanted to share the light bulb moment I had today with you all.
It seems like as soon as MJ became a 2-year-old, she not only became a toddler but she also became a toddler with a mind of her own and a set of legs that can put some Olympians to shame!
Friday, December 18th, 2020 : Today really felt as if I was in a game of “The Emotional Train Wreck”. After staying up until 6a to work on GTR (G Tube Rockers) Facebook’s ads (I am really trying to get in front of the right people to grow my audience), I use my WYZE app to check in on MJ from my office….to my surprise she was in the crib standing on her two feet patiently waiting for me to enter the room. This was the start to my Friday. Lucky for me, this time, I was able to cuddle her back to sleep and she slept until 10a. Phew!
I open my eyes at 10:09a, run to my phone to check the ads I posted a few hours ago performance. To my surprise, my ad account was SHUT DOWN!! Ok, no time to dwell. I added it to the list of things to look into later. I am determined to get through the am shenanigans and I did.
10:20a – check personal email..I see an email about my sons financial aid, something about a missed deadline….added it to the list as well.
10:22a – bathroom run. The whole time I am wondering why on earth was my FB ads account shut down….what have I done? Did that email say I had to pay for my sons tuition this year? Did I read that right? Gotta move on, MJ is waiting or her hugs and love.
10:25a – 11:30a - snuggles and giggles with MJ who is now fully awake watching me to make sure I have her food nearby. She loves this time of morning and so do I. We go down the list of things to do as part of our morning routine; brush Mj’s teeth, change the G Tube padding, clean MJ up, change her diaper, dress MJ for the day, make my bed and feed MJ breakfast.
11:30a – 12p – story time until speech therapy. For the most part this consist of asking her to point things out like “the baby, the ducky, the sun etc”.
12:00p – 1:30p Early Intervention speech appointment. Barely making it through that appointment without an emotional breakdown.
1:30p – 2:30p - I decided it’s time for MJ and I to take a nap. Well…after an hour of trying to get MJ to nap, I fell asleep, and MJ ended up with her Gigi for the next 2 hours.
2:30 – 4:30p – after a series of “MJ, come here’s" and "What are you doing’s” from my mom in the background while she watched MJ and I slept on the couch, I hear a gasp from my mom; and then “OMG, she pulled out her G Tube”. In reality not only did MJ pull out her G Tube but she also bit the balloon so good that it popped. Thank goodness we received our January spare 2 days ago, otherwise we would have been in the ER tonight.
To my relief, at 10p, she finally decided to close her eyes and make her date with the Sandman.
Finally, my day is over and I am not cooking or thinking. I am going to bed. (lol, yea right, it is now 3a and I am up still).
If I would have had the kind of day I had today, when I was raising my 19-year-old son, I would have for sure had an anxiety attack.
In this blog, I skipped over the parts where, she spent most of the day perfecting her walk and almost falling all day, and refused to sit to eat; instead wanted to eat rice orally (which is a huge deal) while standing on her feet, or walking with the fork in her mouth and did I mention she didn’t nap AT ALL? ALL DAY?
When MJ does not nap, she is really over stimulated; everything is so funny, so interesting and she is convinced she is hungry when she is tired.
So here I am at 3a writing this and I guess I am also decompressing. I realize how lucky I am to have MJ. I spent all day focusing on being patient and not letting the devil win. And right now, I have no feelings of anger, I just feel the need to share. Because I know I am not alone.
MJ has given me a sense of fight. My speech therapist told me this today and I find myself thinking of her words: “Experts say the more resilient we are the better we can face challenges. And the single most biggest factor for cultivating resilience- positive relationships!
I realized the importance in being resilient, who better to pass that trait onto MJ than me?
Hit me up in the contact us link to privately chat about this topic.